Character Counts

This picture makes me smile. It reminds me of my childhood, but not quite for the reasons you may think. I grew up in the idyllic town of South Orange, NJ. I lived on a street full of sibling pairs. We pretty much did everything together back in those days. Riding bikes, playing, kill the guy ( two hand touch football), tag, card games in the park, sitting on stoops, watching scary movies, you name it we did it.

Most mornings, some of us would walk to school together. My younger brother and I would go next door to pick up another brother and sister duo before heading out to school. We always had to wait a few minutes and they almost always had Josie and the Pussycats or Tom and Jerry playing on the television while eating breakfast. I remember the house being warm and heavy with silence (minus the TV) like the walls were padded. Years later I would come to understand the necessity for the am silence due to overnight or late shift work but as a kid I knew not to make too much noise. Our neighbors own a few bars around town and ran a very successful business for many years. Some days when we came over for pick up there would be money on the dining room table coins, cash in neat stacks . WE NEVER WENT IN THE DININGROOM. It was like sacred space. In fact just of going into that room gave me flashbacks to Raiders of the Lost Ark when everyone‘s faces melted. . . It’s safe to say that it was a no, no. Thing is I don’t remember ever having to be told. We just knew that you don’t touch things that don’t belong to you, but more importantly it would be in bad character to do so.

Anyone can be kind when the spotlight is on you but when it isn’t. . . Tom and Jerry exemplified this concept in every show. Tom would wait until no one was watching to impose his will on Jerry by trying to capture him. Tom wasn't even hungry, he e was just . . . mean. And Jerry, outwardly it would seem like he was defending himself and rightfully so but he went to extreme measures to make sure that he exercise the most violent and dramatic forms of punishment and humiliation to send Tom a "message." Not only was their mutual lack of character destructive to their relationship it was destructive to home in which they both lived. I am sure that when Mammy Two Shoes got home she was more than a little bit angry about all of the broken things left in the wake of one of spats.

Character is what you do WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING. Character is described as morality but the definition also implies expansive thought that considers more than just the individual. It encompasses the whole of everything. Most people think that their character (a matter of choice) only effects them personally, but that is not so. Imagine the world being Mammy's house and we (all of humanity) are Tom or Jerry (you pick a side). Now role play. It doesn't take long to see how our world has become a disheveled mess. With total lack of respect, understanding, and otherwise bad character of those who live in it. In my opinion having good character is not optional it is our responsibility as the caretakers of this planet. All two often we go into our Tom and Jerry corners, picking a side without considering the character of those on that side. I don't care about race, gender, religion, age, or socioeconomics. Character trumps ALL of that. Living a character based life isn't easy. It requires daily "weeding" of your thought processes and constant assessment of the world around you. You learn to make decisions for the good of all and not for self interest. Not from a place of judgement but from a place of patience and understanding.