Dodge the Ball

I was reading a post on the incomparable Angela Rye Instagram about Millennial's from Forbes. The quote was about Millennial's and it stated that:

" Millennial's are disillusioned about the future. Now 49% of Millennial's would quit their job within two years. According to 2019 Deloitte Millennial Survey, Millennial's and members of Generation Z are uneasy and pessimistic about their life, their careers and the world."

My interest was piqued, so I proceeded to read the feed. I will admit initially I was annoyed. Rolling eyes, duck lips, sucking teeth, the whole nine. Hey, I'm Gen-Xer and still alive to tell the story, so what do you expect? But as I read on I began to feel compassion for this very large, seemingly sad, emotionally stunted, group within our society. I looked to my son, a Millennial "cusper," for a discussion and some answers. Unfortunately, I came up short because his cusper nature makes him a little bit too compassionate. So I drew the only conclusion that I could. One that I had come to a decade ago. An eminent danger that it seemed only I foresaw, and one that my 21 year old son wholeheartedly agreed with.

This is what happens when kids don't play dodge ball ( and duck duck goose).

I know what you are thinking: what the hell? But hear me out and then you will understand . Many moons ago when my son was about six years old I sent him to a summer basketball camp in Newark. Some close friends raved about the camp. They said that the coaches were awesome and he would really have fun and learn the game. He had a reasonably good time I guess. That memory isn't clear however, his last day of camp is burned into both of our brains forever. When I arrived to pick him up from camp I found him with a red and purple face, clearly upset. I asked the counselor what happened and they proceeded to tell me that the kids (ages 6 and up) were playing dodge ball and my son got hit in the face twice. Apparently, one of the kids thought it was funny the first time and decided to do it again! I was furious. What the hell kind of camp lets older kids bomb younger ones in the face with a ball? I felt slightly embarrassed and extremely vulnerable as his parent because up until then he wasn't equipped to deal with life's challenges and I was unable to protect him from that mean jack ass of a kid. So I did the only thing that I could do. I looked down at him and I asked: "Abraham, when you saw the ball coming, why didn't you duck?" He looked up at me all watery eyed, and defeated, and shrugged his little boy shoulders. And I said: "Next time you need to duck. You need to learn how to duck."

I could have complained to the supervisor of the camp. Asked to speak to a parent and made a huge fuss, but none of that would have helped my son learn what he believes to be one of the most valuable lessons of his life. He learned that in life the playing field isn't always even, in fact it can be stacked against you. That people are mean and will exploit your weaknesses, and those who are bigger and stronger will prey on those who are perceived to be smaller and weaker. He also learned that all of this can be overcome with wit, skill, and better "depth perception."

As he grew older I began to notice a trend growing with parents and by extension school districts in our area. Parents were beginning to sue school districts because their children were getting hurt. The response to all of this litigation was to discontinue any sport that had contact, or the potential for danger or exclusion. . . No dodge ball, no duck duck goose, no kick ball, etc during school hours. All of those games were replaced by stacking cups, scooter relays, parachute games, and trophies for all. I went to the head of the physical education department to discuss how detrimental this would be to our children, but to no avail. The trend continued.

Fast forward to over a decade and a half later. We have a generation struggling with the idea that sometimes you just have to duck. Sometimes you won't get picked. And yes, practice really does make perfect. And my favorite, not everyone is a winner. You actually have to earn first place. Listen, life is a challenge and it will always be that way, so it's best to buckle up and learn to navigate the best you can. Work doesn't make a person happy. Life is what happens when you leave work. Now, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do what you enjoy, it just means that no matter how much you enjoy something it is still work!

My best advise is to be happy and grateful that you are alive to tell your story. Each day that you are six feet above and not six feet under is a good day! After work get a bunch of friends together and go play a good hard game of dodge ball (or duck duck goose) and absorb the lessons. I promise the pain will be worth it!